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Whether you're single, separated or divorced, Valentines Day can be a difficult day to survive. But there IS a positive way that you can get through this and even, dare I say, enjoy it. So, here's a few suggestions for you to keep your chin up:- Girls Night In Invite a few of your friends round for a girls evening in. Girls - enjoy a romantic, soppy movie together with a take away pizza and plenty of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Boys Night Out Why not arrange for an active evening for a few mates? Guys - why not book a slot at the bowling alley or go karting to let off some steam?! Follow it up by eating out and enjoying pizza or a KFC. Surprise Someone Enjoy the secret delight of sending a small gift or surprise to someone. With the success of the Secret Santa scheme over the past few Christmases - why not make this Valentines Day about giving, rather than getting? How about paying for the guy in the queue behind you at the toll bridge, "dropping" a fiver and pic...

I was watching an episode of the Home and Garden show "NEAT", which is a show where a crew comes in to help clutterbugs reorganize and systematize their homes. There is major change going on for the homeowners, including a lot of tossing out, giving away and rearranging of their home and life. I turned to Rob, my life partner and even though I am an Amiable personality type which means I am into teamwork and everyone getting along, I said "If I was honest with myself, I think I would turn into Linda Blair's possessed character from the Exorcist if people started trying to force me into so much change." Amiables, by tradition, do not adapt as well to change, but all personalities if they are not consciously aware of it or do not have positive, accepting ways of handling it, will go into resistance when someone imposes change on them. Even if the other person is including the first person in the decision-making process for the change, the simple fact that the othe...

According to Rob, (Director/Counsellor of The Centre for Life Management/LMC Relationship Centre, and Co-author of "Love by Design") says that the following is roughly how communication is divided. 10% of Communication is conducted through Words. 30% of Communication is conducted through Tone. 60% of Communication is conducted by Body Language. So what does this mean? We spend the majority of the time focusing on what people are directly saying, but we are missing 90% of what people are really saying. It is no wonder then, that above and beyond couples not having the same communication modes, or not having relationship skills, miscommunication can also be occurring because we are not focusing on the full picture. Indirect Communication is also an alternate form of communication, because a person needs to listen to what is being said underneath the words, and not take the words at face value only. Let's give some examples of the less well know forms of communication. BODY ...

Are you thinking about leaving your relationship or have you left your relationship and are looking for closure? In this article, we are talking about how to create and get closure with your past relationships. A lot of you have been through a lot of ups and downs, and the challenge is about people who are breaking up and are thinking of breaking up or deciding whether they should stay or go is that they are making decisions based on love and attraction, friendship and fun and sometimes the kids, the mortgage, finances or family. All these things create a push pull, an approach avoidance conflict as they say in Psychology. Basically you have to listen to your heart. What is your highest and best? If you are living your life according to a metaphysical underpinning or paradigm where you are looking for your highest and best soulmate, you ultimately want to have a soulmate that you can have a relationship with, not just a soulmate, because you are already saying "Yeah, this person i...

Un-communicated feelings mean squat! People don't know how you feel until you tell them how you feel. Over twenty years ago my best friend died of cancer. Randy was 41. He was successful, competent, always positive and loved and lived life to the fullest then he was gone. There was one thing missing in his life. In 41 years his father was never able to tell him that he was proud of him, loved him and believed in him. That was the only thing Randy ever wanted from his father and in 41 years he never got any of them. At his funeral I am convinced, that if his father could have waved a magic wand over his casket and had one wish, it would have been to have one more chance to tell his son how special and loved he was. He'll never get that chance. It is too late for him. He will live the rest of his life with that regret. For three years while Randy was fighting the cancer with every fiber of his being, every time I say him I gave him a bear hug and told him how special he was...

When girl meets boy, and they begin a new relationship with each other, they tend to look at their partner through a telescope. They only see the qualities, traits, habits and behavior that they want to see. For whatever reason, they fail to observe early signals regarding those qualities and behaviors that they either don't like or want to see. When love is failing, the same boy and girl tend to see each other through a microscope - micro-managing every trait, attitude, quality or behavior. It is almost as if they are looking for stuff not to like. This simple illustration, both the relationships that are beginning and those that are failing, will repeat themselves thousands of times today. Why do people fail to see the other person clearly in a new relationship and why do we lose tolerance of even the simplest behavior in a relationship that is in trouble? There are three simple concepts that impact all relationships. They are: People only change when they feel a need to do so. P...

Relationships are either getting better or they are getting worse. They are dynamic entities and do not remain the same. Therefore, if your relationship is not getting better, it is more than likely getting worse in some way. One of the critical issues that determines whether a relationship is getting better or worse is the focus of the people involved. Every relationship has some positive as well as negative stuff going on. You can choose to focus on the negatives or the positives. There are five ways in which we do this. 1. Our internal self﷓talk. 2. Our external behavior that focuses on what is working or not working. 3. Our expectations of the other person. 4. Our perceptual interpretations of the other person's behavior. 5. Our obsession with the other person's behavior. Let's look at the issue of self-talk. Self﷓talk is your unedited ongoing internal dialog that you have with yourself every waking minute of your life. Whether this self﷓talk continues d...