111 acge

Un-communicated feelings mean squat! People don't know how you feel until you tell them how you feel. Over twenty years ago my best friend died of cancer. Randy was 41. He was successful, competent, always positive and loved and lived life to the fullest then he was gone. There was one thing missing in his life. In 41 years his father was never able to tell him that he was proud of him, loved him and believed in him. That was the only thing Randy ever wanted from his father and in 41 years he never got any of them. At his funeral I am convinced, that if his father could have waved a magic wand over his casket and had one wish, it would have been to have one more chance to tell his son how special and loved he was. He'll never get that chance. It is too late for him. He will live the rest of his life with that regret. For three years while Randy was fighting the cancer with every fiber of his being, every time I say him I gave him a bear hug and told him how special he was...

When girl meets boy, and they begin a new relationship with each other, they tend to look at their partner through a telescope. They only see the qualities, traits, habits and behavior that they want to see. For whatever reason, they fail to observe early signals regarding those qualities and behaviors that they either don't like or want to see. When love is failing, the same boy and girl tend to see each other through a microscope - micro-managing every trait, attitude, quality or behavior. It is almost as if they are looking for stuff not to like. This simple illustration, both the relationships that are beginning and those that are failing, will repeat themselves thousands of times today. Why do people fail to see the other person clearly in a new relationship and why do we lose tolerance of even the simplest behavior in a relationship that is in trouble? There are three simple concepts that impact all relationships. They are: People only change when they feel a need to do so. P...

Relationships are either getting better or they are getting worse. They are dynamic entities and do not remain the same. Therefore, if your relationship is not getting better, it is more than likely getting worse in some way. One of the critical issues that determines whether a relationship is getting better or worse is the focus of the people involved. Every relationship has some positive as well as negative stuff going on. You can choose to focus on the negatives or the positives. There are five ways in which we do this. 1. Our internal self﷓talk. 2. Our external behavior that focuses on what is working or not working. 3. Our expectations of the other person. 4. Our perceptual interpretations of the other person's behavior. 5. Our obsession with the other person's behavior. Let's look at the issue of self-talk. Self﷓talk is your unedited ongoing internal dialog that you have with yourself every waking minute of your life. Whether this self﷓talk continues d...